An Open Letter...

I forgive you!

Next to I love you, those 3 words have got to be the hardest words in the English language to say and mean.  Maybe it's because forgiving someone isn't so much about that person as much as it is about you and your sanity.  And yet here we live in a society of hurt people who are going around hurting other people because they "forgave" someone for an action but never found a way to accept the pain it caused.  

Here are the facts:  Me forgiving you isn't for you, it's for me!  I need to forgive myself for the extreme guilt that I harbored deep inside while you slept good at night and went on with your life.  I need to forgive myself for projecting your mistreatment of me on to others.  I need to forgive myself for using the pain you caused me as an excuse to hurt others.  I need to forgive myself for holding on to the pain.  And most importantly I need to forgive myself for giving you that much power.  My grandmother used to say, "Had you known how much that was going to hurt me, you wouldn't have done it."  People need to know that they have hurt you but if they are unwilling to listen you need to let it go and forgive them anyway.  

Pain is a game changer.  It cause us not to trust or be ourselves, makes us lose hope in humanity, and drives us to isolation.  However pain is a necessity because it gives us strength to forgive and replace pain with love, just as the Heavenly Father does for us.  

So Nefertari, I forgive you!  To anyone that I have ever hurt, I'm sorry! And to anyone who has ever caused me pain, Thank You!