Did you just voicemail me?

After getting the phone number of a potential interest from a mutual friend I was faced with the do I text or call him dilemma. We had only met briefly at a networking event, so to be honest I wasn't sure if I had left a memorable impression. But there I was, with number in hand...

It felt like high school all over again. You remember, the days when we would get the number, sit in front of the phone, muster the courage to dial the number and cop out right before dialing the last digit? Or how about you would dial the full number and then hang up before someone answered or prayed that you would get the answering machine so you wouldn't have to leave a message? *Hey I'm old. This was before everybody had caller i.d. and answering machines were used to screen calls*

Well after consulting with a few sources I was relieved to find out about a service that would allow me to call this person and get put directly into his voicemail. Like wow... really? It's exactly what I needed in my life. #POW This service should be considered a national treasure. Why was I just finding out about it? And did everyone else but me know that there was an app for it? I am now an avid supporter of this service.

As stated in their advertisement: Many use their service because they are short on time, don't want to bother someone, want to avoid an awkward conversation or when a text message just won't cut it! Yep I'm all over removing awkwardness from my life. I don't need additional opportunities to make a complete ass of myself.

Operation find Nef a why-te man....

Yea, I have to admit this latest campaign is drawing controversy. But then again when is anything about me not involving some controversy. Dating is like a box of chocolates... so many choices, dark, milk and yes my friends even white. And I am not ashamed to say I am equal opportunity when it comes to chocolate and men.

Why white men? Well.... why not? I ain't skerd and this ain't new territory for me. My ex-husband was white. Yes, I did say ex and I know what you are thinking... "if it didn't work out with him why go back?" Well it didn't work out with any of the black guys that I've dated and that hasn't deterred my pursuit of them. The way I see it, as with anything else in life, dating is a numbers game. The more available candidates in the pool to select from the more likely I will end up in a relationship. Besides some of y'all of over thinking this operation. It's dating and I'm having fun and at the end of the day that is all I care about (for now at least). And for those of you who know me personally know that if nothing else occurs during this process we are at least guaranteed to have some good laughs...

Welp, I hope you enjoy the journey and the live tweets...lol. Names will be changed to protect the innocent, namely me.

www.twitter.com/justnef

I promise to only cry about this thing ONE last time...

I don't like the rules. Can I rewrite them? I want the piece of my heart that I gave to you back. I will gladly return yours, that is if I ever really had it. No I don't hate you. But thanks to you I'm jaded. I want closure, that intangible asset that everyone experiencing pain requests. I know that I will never be made whole and now I'm beginning to realize that this chapter will never actually have an end. You see I can't erase the memories and I can't change the facts. I loved you... still do; but you didn't and still don't appreciate it. You exploited my kindness as though it were a weakness. You preyed on my vulnerabilities. My transparency became your weapon of choice. And although the thoughts have crossed my mind, I just can't muster up the energy to do you the way you have done me.

My vow is to only cry about this once more. I doubt it will erase my pain or feelings of victimization. But here are the facts: 1. Everything that you have to use against me I gave it to you, so I'm to blame. 2. I'm no longer looking for you to acknowledge your wrongs. 3. And although this experience has been painful, I needed it to get me where I'm supposed to be. So... thank you!