About the only consistent thing about me is my propensity to change. On average I change addresses once a year, cars about every 2 years, and hairstyles every 3 - 6 months. So when I decided to shave all my hair off my head for the 3rd time in as many years, G.I. Jane style of course, I was confused as to why folks still took the time to gasp in shock. And about the dumbest question ever asked to man follows the gasp: "But what made you cut all your hair off?" I wish I was remotely witty in my response but I've determined that whenever I exploit that part of my personality people tend to label me crass.
Sidenote: I never understand how some folks have the nerve of to ask YOU a question regarding YOUR decision making and then get upset about YOUR response.
Anywho, back to the point.... So this time I think I want to attempt to loc my hair. I know, I know... this requires patience and some stability; qualities that I have yet to master. Besides, I just can't stay away from a good wig. The longer the better. I guess what I'm trying to say is, it's MY hair and I will do what I want with it. I'm very comfortable being Nefertari, so I don't need your advice on how to do me.
Monday, August 2, 2010
Monday, July 19, 2010
Day 8 without cable tv... What the hell was I thinking?!?
Just in time for the coonery known as the TO and OchoCinco shows, I had decided to remove cable television from my life. I unplugged the box , drove to the mall and handed it over to the TWC rep. Just like that I quit the drug that left me with less brain cells each day. It was a sudden decision; something that I can probably blame on the Vodka Summit that I just so happened to attend on the evening before. Either way here I am, going through withdrawals.
Day 1 wasn't so bad, but afterall I barely spent more than 3 hours awake at home. But when the boy returned from his visit with the grandparents last weekend that is when the sweats and itching began. He went into his room and turned the tv on as normal but unbeknownst to him there would be no Yo Gabba Gabba waiting for him. He looked at the snowy receiption in amazement then proceeded to turn the channels almost as if it were a fluke of some sort. Once he realized that the same boring show was on all the channels he shrugged his shoulders, turned off the TV and proceeded to attempt the same process on the other 2 TVs in the house. On that day I was grateful for the "Let's meet the numbers" DVD. It seemed to capture his attention and he showed immediate interest in pointing out numbers to me everywhere he could find them.
However, fast forward to day 7 and I am no longer known as Mommy but as the jungle gym sitting on the couch. As I attempted to take an online assessment for class the boy determined that jumping and climbing on me was way more exciting than watching ANY DVD. I tried to fool him with outdoor activities (i.e. riding his bike, going to the pool, playing catch with the dog), and yet I was the one that ended up the fool. No sooner than returning in doors I became the designated playground. This eventually led to me putting the boy in bed at 8:30 with a Curious George DVD on repeat, and a stern warning that if his narrow behind got out of the bed for any reason other than to use the potty he and my belt would be getting acquainted.
Well to say that I felt guilty after that exchange would be the understatement of the year. I as we speak have decided to give in the television obsession by placing an order with DirecTv for service and purchasing a Wii. However, the fast will continue until August 1st. Does this mean that I am less of a sucker because I'm making him wait 2 weeks?
Day 1 wasn't so bad, but afterall I barely spent more than 3 hours awake at home. But when the boy returned from his visit with the grandparents last weekend that is when the sweats and itching began. He went into his room and turned the tv on as normal but unbeknownst to him there would be no Yo Gabba Gabba waiting for him. He looked at the snowy receiption in amazement then proceeded to turn the channels almost as if it were a fluke of some sort. Once he realized that the same boring show was on all the channels he shrugged his shoulders, turned off the TV and proceeded to attempt the same process on the other 2 TVs in the house. On that day I was grateful for the "Let's meet the numbers" DVD. It seemed to capture his attention and he showed immediate interest in pointing out numbers to me everywhere he could find them.
However, fast forward to day 7 and I am no longer known as Mommy but as the jungle gym sitting on the couch. As I attempted to take an online assessment for class the boy determined that jumping and climbing on me was way more exciting than watching ANY DVD. I tried to fool him with outdoor activities (i.e. riding his bike, going to the pool, playing catch with the dog), and yet I was the one that ended up the fool. No sooner than returning in doors I became the designated playground. This eventually led to me putting the boy in bed at 8:30 with a Curious George DVD on repeat, and a stern warning that if his narrow behind got out of the bed for any reason other than to use the potty he and my belt would be getting acquainted.
Well to say that I felt guilty after that exchange would be the understatement of the year. I as we speak have decided to give in the television obsession by placing an order with DirecTv for service and purchasing a Wii. However, the fast will continue until August 1st. Does this mean that I am less of a sucker because I'm making him wait 2 weeks?
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Did you just voicemail me?
After getting the phone number of a potential interest from a mutual friend I was faced with the do I text or call him dilemma. We had only met briefly at a networking event, so to be honest I wasn't sure if I had left a memorable impression. But there I was, with number in hand...
It felt like high school all over again. You remember, the days when we would get the number, sit in front of the phone, muster the courage to dial the number and cop out right before dialing the last digit? Or how about you would dial the full number and then hang up before someone answered or prayed that you would get the answering machine so you wouldn't have to leave a message? *Hey I'm old. This was before everybody had caller i.d. and answering machines were used to screen calls*
Well after consulting with a few sources I was relieved to find out about a service that would allow me to call this person and get put directly into his voicemail. Like wow... really? It's exactly what I needed in my life. #POW This service should be considered a national treasure. Why was I just finding out about it? And did everyone else but me know that there was an app for it? I am now an avid supporter of this service.
As stated in their advertisement: Many use their service because they are short on time, don't want to bother someone, want to avoid an awkward conversation or when a text message just won't cut it! Yep I'm all over removing awkwardness from my life. I don't need additional opportunities to make a complete ass of myself.
It felt like high school all over again. You remember, the days when we would get the number, sit in front of the phone, muster the courage to dial the number and cop out right before dialing the last digit? Or how about you would dial the full number and then hang up before someone answered or prayed that you would get the answering machine so you wouldn't have to leave a message? *Hey I'm old. This was before everybody had caller i.d. and answering machines were used to screen calls*
Well after consulting with a few sources I was relieved to find out about a service that would allow me to call this person and get put directly into his voicemail. Like wow... really? It's exactly what I needed in my life. #POW This service should be considered a national treasure. Why was I just finding out about it? And did everyone else but me know that there was an app for it? I am now an avid supporter of this service.
As stated in their advertisement: Many use their service because they are short on time, don't want to bother someone, want to avoid an awkward conversation or when a text message just won't cut it! Yep I'm all over removing awkwardness from my life. I don't need additional opportunities to make a complete ass of myself.
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Operation find Nef a why-te man....
Yea, I have to admit this latest campaign is drawing controversy. But then again when is anything about me not involving some controversy. Dating is like a box of chocolates... so many choices, dark, milk and yes my friends even white. And I am not ashamed to say I am equal opportunity when it comes to chocolate and men.
Why white men? Well.... why not? I ain't skerd and this ain't new territory for me. My ex-husband was white. Yes, I did say ex and I know what you are thinking... "if it didn't work out with him why go back?" Well it didn't work out with any of the black guys that I've dated and that hasn't deterred my pursuit of them. The way I see it, as with anything else in life, dating is a numbers game. The more available candidates in the pool to select from the more likely I will end up in a relationship. Besides some of y'all of over thinking this operation. It's dating and I'm having fun and at the end of the day that is all I care about (for now at least). And for those of you who know me personally know that if nothing else occurs during this process we are at least guaranteed to have some good laughs...
Welp, I hope you enjoy the journey and the live tweets...lol. Names will be changed to protect the innocent, namely me.
www.twitter.com/justnef
Why white men? Well.... why not? I ain't skerd and this ain't new territory for me. My ex-husband was white. Yes, I did say ex and I know what you are thinking... "if it didn't work out with him why go back?" Well it didn't work out with any of the black guys that I've dated and that hasn't deterred my pursuit of them. The way I see it, as with anything else in life, dating is a numbers game. The more available candidates in the pool to select from the more likely I will end up in a relationship. Besides some of y'all of over thinking this operation. It's dating and I'm having fun and at the end of the day that is all I care about (for now at least). And for those of you who know me personally know that if nothing else occurs during this process we are at least guaranteed to have some good laughs...
Welp, I hope you enjoy the journey and the live tweets...lol. Names will be changed to protect the innocent, namely me.
www.twitter.com/justnef
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
I promise to only cry about this thing ONE last time...
I don't like the rules. Can I rewrite them? I want the piece of my heart that I gave to you back. I will gladly return yours, that is if I ever really had it. No I don't hate you. But thanks to you I'm jaded. I want closure, that intangible asset that everyone experiencing pain requests. I know that I will never be made whole and now I'm beginning to realize that this chapter will never actually have an end. You see I can't erase the memories and I can't change the facts. I loved you... still do; but you didn't and still don't appreciate it. You exploited my kindness as though it were a weakness. You preyed on my vulnerabilities. My transparency became your weapon of choice. And although the thoughts have crossed my mind, I just can't muster up the energy to do you the way you have done me.
My vow is to only cry about this once more. I doubt it will erase my pain or feelings of victimization. But here are the facts: 1. Everything that you have to use against me I gave it to you, so I'm to blame. 2. I'm no longer looking for you to acknowledge your wrongs. 3. And although this experience has been painful, I needed it to get me where I'm supposed to be. So... thank you!
My vow is to only cry about this once more. I doubt it will erase my pain or feelings of victimization. But here are the facts: 1. Everything that you have to use against me I gave it to you, so I'm to blame. 2. I'm no longer looking for you to acknowledge your wrongs. 3. And although this experience has been painful, I needed it to get me where I'm supposed to be. So... thank you!
Thursday, April 8, 2010
You do know that I'm CrAzY, right?
Ok America, I just told y'all I ain't been saved but for a minute, right? So why is it that folks are dead set on testing me? I am crazy! Not straight jacket, padded cell, popping pills crazy; more like sitting in a completely dark room sipping on a deuce deuce of malt liquor, puffing on a Newport while listening to gangster rap crazy. And I'm sure given the right circumstances I may fall off the edge, snap and catch a charge.
I grew up in a time where children were actually scared of adults for that very exact reason. In fact I recall using this very statement, "I'm not going to do that, don't you know that my grandparents are crazy!" And just so we are I clear, I expect Jax to grow up telling his friends the same thing.
Ok, here's the truth: My bark is often worse than my bite. However my tolerance for bullshit is negligible, if any at all. I've often been told that I don't have a filter, and at 32 I don't plan on getting one either. Becoming a mom has lowered your odds of sympathy from me. Don't get me wrong, I am a very compassionate, loyal person. If you were down and out and I could help I would but people often view my kindness as a weakness. I've come to terms with the fact that I'm not liked by all. At this point in my life I'm not concerned with others or their opinion of me. They haven't provided me with any of the blessings that have been bestowed upon me. They don't have a heaven (or a hell for that matter) to put me in. I stopped viewing life as a popularity contest a long time ago. I've been sent by the Kingdom for an important assignment. I have dreams to live out and a purpose to walk in.
Jeremiah 29:11-13 (Nefertari's Introspective Version)
Nefertari, I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Nefertari, you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.
I'm prayed up and I'm focused man! No weapon....
Monday, April 5, 2010
We Can't Be Friends!
I came across the following quote on twitter today:
"If a relationship ends because the *person* wasn't treating you as you deserve then HELL NO you can't 'be friends! Friends don't mistreat friends." *This quote was edited because I feel that it fits both males and females*
Simple and to the point right? Well then why in the world do we keep allowing people to mistreat us? Why are we glutton for punishment? Let's be real, yes it is wrong for someone to take advantage of our feelings, kindness, love, etc... but aren't we to blame for allowing such things to occur when we attempt to leave friendship on the table? Some of us guard our possessions with more security than we do our hearts. And so there it lays, on the road for someone to run over repeatedly. Then when we finally run up on something or someone good we don't know how to treat it because we are holding on to some past hurts. CrAzY!!!!
Look people these are relationship fundamentals. And yes, I am ministering to myself on this one for sure! So how does the healing begin? Stop being naive. Don't expect an apology. Stop looking for closure. Don't be bitter. Let it go. Not all things require answers. While you are waiting in expectation for those things, life is surely passing you by.
Yes, it is and will be hard to let go. No one desires to be alone. God did not design us that way. He made Adam and then Eve in his likeness because he felt that Adam needed companionship. But I would rather be alone than continue to be in a toxic relationship.
"If a relationship ends because the *person* wasn't treating you as you deserve then HELL NO you can't 'be friends! Friends don't mistreat friends." *This quote was edited because I feel that it fits both males and females*
Simple and to the point right? Well then why in the world do we keep allowing people to mistreat us? Why are we glutton for punishment? Let's be real, yes it is wrong for someone to take advantage of our feelings, kindness, love, etc... but aren't we to blame for allowing such things to occur when we attempt to leave friendship on the table? Some of us guard our possessions with more security than we do our hearts. And so there it lays, on the road for someone to run over repeatedly. Then when we finally run up on something or someone good we don't know how to treat it because we are holding on to some past hurts. CrAzY!!!!
Look people these are relationship fundamentals. And yes, I am ministering to myself on this one for sure! So how does the healing begin? Stop being naive. Don't expect an apology. Stop looking for closure. Don't be bitter. Let it go. Not all things require answers. While you are waiting in expectation for those things, life is surely passing you by.
Yes, it is and will be hard to let go. No one desires to be alone. God did not design us that way. He made Adam and then Eve in his likeness because he felt that Adam needed companionship. But I would rather be alone than continue to be in a toxic relationship.
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