Simply complex.....

Simple, as defined by Webster's dictionary, is an adjective that means not elaborate, plain, easy to understand, deal with or use. Complex, the antonymn of simple is defined as complicated, difficult to understand or deal with.

What brings us to this lesson in language arts today? Well I've recently ventured back into the world of dating *Cue the applause.* And in a recent conversation with Mr. Capricorn he told me that while he is enjoying getting to know me, he thought of me as a complex person. When a person uses the word complex to describe you, should it be regarded as an insult? I know he said complex but what I heard was "you're difficult." As I attempted to convince him that I was not difficult he hit me with the, "Nef, you're overthinking what I said." Damn! I've been exposed early in the game. I mean check me out, I'm up here looking up definitions of words for crying out loud. Not to mention I'm taking it a step further and blogging about it as if my name were Carrie Bradshaw and I were writing a relationship column entitled Sex and the City.

I have to give it to Mr. Capricorn, he's right. I do have a tendency to overthink, and this is more than likely one of those times. I've allowed the complex to overtake me. If I'm not facebooking about my life then I'm tweeting about it, blogging about it and replaying scenes in my mind. When did transparency turn into an obsession of self? I don't want to be overly absorbed but I'm definitely not simple or plain either. I'm designed for a complement, not a condiment.

Is Mr. Capricorn complementary? He's definitely simple in comparison to me. He isn't on any social networking sites. He has a smart phone but doesn't have any apps downloaded. When he wants to talk to me he actually picks up the phone and dials my number verses sending a text. Hell, he still utilizes the postal service to mail bills. Definitely my opposite. Guess I shall find out....

My Superhero!

He isn't able to jump over tall buildings in a single leap or run faster than a speeding train. You would think from the way he dives off the couch or bed into a stack of pillows that he could at least fly. But to be honest he just learned how to use the words YES and NO appropriately when answering questions. He is the 3 year old that lights my life up and truly emodies the word LOVE for me. He is Jackson Avery, Mommie's Baby and he is my hero!

A little over one year ago he was barely talking. Unable to verbalize his thoughts, he began to allow his world to close in around him. He was too scared to get in the tub for a bath, fixated with his fork and spoon and withdrawn from friends at school. It was literally breaking my heart. How could I reach him and was I too late? A diagnosis came in May, Jackson was highly functioning on the Austism Spectrum. My knees grew weak, a lump developed in my throat and uncontrollable tears in my eyes but a determination like I've never had, to go retrieve my son from this dark hole he decided to climb in, came over me.

We've all heard the cliche from parents that they would go through hell and brimstone for their children, well here was my first test. My decision to be a single parent was going through its biggest test. Would autism cause me to regret that very decision?

In just 10 days Jackson will turn 4 years old. I remember the 5 hours of labor like it was yesterday. I'm just as excited about 4 as I was about is pending arrival. That little boy means the absolute world to me and the only regret I have is questioning the right decision. Autism is an adversity that teaches me more about myself than of Jackson. Afterall, he isn't aware of limits and that is perfectly ok with me because I want him to live a life without limits and beyond boundaries.