This is some real n*gga sh*t right here!

The following phone conversation took place on Thanksgiving Day at approxiamately 12PM between Family Guy and myself:

HIM: Hey Babe, Happy Thanksgiving.

ME: Hi! Same to you. How are you today.

HIM: I'm ok. Look, I need to tell you that Thanksgiving dinner has been cancelled today. My mom and my sister got into it real bad last night and my sister cancelled dinner at her place. I'm just gonna chill at home with the girls and have a quiet Thanksgiving.

ME: Oh ok.

HIM: Yeah, so I will talk to you some time later.

ME: Oh ok. Well have a good day. Talk to you later.

Ok America... are you thinking what I was thinking? "Craig, you ain't gots to lie!" The followup conversation took place at approxiamately 10PM Thanksgiving evening.

HIM: Hey Babe, how was your day?

ME: It was pretty cool. Was only able to make 2 of my 4 stops but we ate good. I hate that I didn't get a chance to see you. How was your's?

HIM: Wonderful. I got to see a lot of family members that I haven't seen in a minute. Food was good.

ME: Oh really? Where was this?

HIM: At my sisters.

ME: *interrupting him in mid sentence* Ooooooh ok. Well I'm watching this Beyonce special on t.v. and she is about to sing my song. I'll call you back after the show.

HIM: Ok.

Ok, I lied. I had no intent on calling back and no desire of hearing how he was going to spin this lie. Lying to me, no matter the circumstance, is an absolute deal breaker and it is something I let men know up front. Now had he just left the conversation at that I probably wouldn't have written this blog but I must expose bullshit in dating whenever the opportunity presents itself.

Two days later I received the following text message from Family Guy: "Hey. (I) haven't forgot us just got a lot of bs going on right now and I don't want it to transfer when we talkin or hangin. I think we should chill for a min, sorry"

Yes America, this is truly a WTF moment! First of all dude, I ceased all contact with you on Thanksgiving. In my mind I was cool with just leaving things where they were. I didn't like the fact that you created a stupid lie rather than just being honest and saying, "Something has come up and I need to take back my invitation to dinner," but that was the card you chose to play. I wanted to remember you as a fairly decent guy but noooooo you had to have the last word.

How sorry must you be as a man to not have the guts to face me as a women or at least pick up the phone and call me to tell me that you no longer have a desire to see me? It isn't a crime for one person to loose interest in another. However, no adult should break things off with another adult in such an informal fashion.... EVER! Some things are really just that simple but when people go out of their way to be non confrontational it just creates a down situation.

All of my 2010 dating pitfalls have ONE common theme: bad communication. No really, read the blog. I know men are from Mars and women are from Venus (blah blah blah) but communication has always been about 1 thing... Making sure your audience receives your intended message. Since I've chosen not to respond to any attempts to communicate with me, I hope he is hearing (listening for understanding that is) clearly. Or perhaps the next time he calls, I should just pick up the phone and press play on Cee-Lo Green's FUCK YOU in lieu of talking to him. I don't think he will misinterpret my message then.

An unlikely pair.....

I remember when the world first found out about Janet Jackson and Jermaine Dupri and how NOBODY could understand what drew the two together (or at least that was my reaction). She, pop royalty and he... well I have yet to find a nice way to describe Jermaine, nothing personal, but you know.

Well while on my date with Family Guy this past weekend that is the image that popped into my head. There I was, all prissed up, proper speaking, dressed straight off the rack of Ann Taylor and there he was sitting across the table from me in his Ecko sweater, jeans and Air Force 1's. We were talking about something non-important when it dawned on me that dude is exactly the type of man that I've spent much of my adult life avoiding. This isn't to say anything bad about dude but I definitely was not checking for someone like him in my dating adventures.

I VERY recently retired my (grocery) list of requirements. You know the list I'm talking about. The one that reads: Mr. Right must be 6' 3" tall, hold a Master's from an Ivy League School, earn 150k+ a year, must be physically fit, etc... Ok, ok that is a GROSS exaggeration of my list but I think you get the point I'm trying to make. Every woman has one. It's almost like we are going to run down to the local Harris Teeter, gather these ingredients and Presto... The Perfect Man will appear (hence the grocery reference). Like really ladies, who put that dumb idea in our heads? Or as Dr. Phil would say, "How's that working out for ya?"

I'm learning that I what I WANT isn't always what I NEED. Please don't miscontrue that as a statement of me settling but rather a declaration that I'm ready to be realistic about life and love. Family Guy could possibly end up not being Mr. Right for me and that's ok. Going forward I plan to leave each experience a little more in tune with what I need from a relationship.

Janet has gone on record to say that Jermaine saw her differently and made her feel good about herself and her self image. I wouldn't expect her to air her dirty laundry but the fact that she speaks so highly of the man at every opportunity definitely tells me that she received something of value out of their relationship. In a way, he upgraded her....